We generally undermine the fact that when we are nurturing our kids, we are actually shaping our society, which our own kids are going to live going forward. Kids learn from what they are being taught but they learn much more from what they see and how they are being treated. So it is basically us, the parents, who need to be watchful of ourselves in front of our kids. Here are my few societal experiences which can help us shape happy and equitable society.
Differences and Similarities
Kids should be taught to focus on similarities instead of finding differences. This will help them to be content. Take example of a car. Many advertisement feature children talking about their BIG cars. In such instances, it is imperative to teach children that though the size is different but all cars run on the road and none can fly. No car allows the luxury of standing irrespective of its size. And all will take pretty much equal time to reach the destination and none gives you the luxury of poop or piss on the move.
The thing is, it is more important for the kids to know the utility of the object than the mere beauty of it. Of course, everyone is drawn to luxury and high end products. But, it is very important not to relate our happiness with the objects as such happiness is short lived and immaterial.
Children need to understand that what really matters is their knowledge, responsiveness, forgiveness and empathy which would make them a better and happier being. Moreover, this also saves children from becoming bully or being bullied.
We all know people who have everything in life but happiness. Surely, we do not want our children to be one of them. The people who are generally happy emanate positive vibes, attract others and are loved by all. Happiness and positivity are strong traits, which help us face life’s adversities with ease.
Patriarch & Matriarch Society
No child is born for any specific job or role, based on his/her gender. This is the foundation of a happy family life and an equitable society and should be imbibed deep in a child’s mind. No one wants to leave any stone unturned for their child, just because of the gender.
Kids are highly influenced from what they observe, so it is basically us – the parents who need to start behaving and treating each other equally. A parent’s influence is a prime attributable factor for upliftment of the society. The fights between two people occur most commonly because of the ego clashes. Now, what is this ego? EGO stands for “Expectations Generated through Observations”. We all have set high notions for ourselves beyond which no one dares to look and if someone tries to, people suppress it.
Lets take an example, if a man cleaned the table when the child spilled milk and mom did not, for whatever reason, people/relatives sitting around might frown on the incidence since they have the notion that its not a man’s job. Now I have no clue who came up with this idea of segregating chores based on gender. People frown and gossip because this is how they have been brought up. And whatever that does not fit into their thinking mould is Wrong or Unacceptable for them.
Now the child, who spilled milk, is not concerned with who is cleaning the floor. Next time if the child spills anything else and mother cleans the floor, the child will find it absolutely normal. Such child will grow up into an adult who will be willing to clean the floor himself or herself, if required, without any gender bias. Also, Research suggests that the children, who actively participate inthe household, turn out to be more intelligent, happy and better human beings.
Recently, me and my spouse were having a gala time with a group of our college friends. We were planning to go on a trip next month when my partner said that it might not be possible for us to go since I (me) would be busy that time. Instantly, one of our friends (male) sarcastically said “Why are you so scared of your wife? Be a man, Man!” My partner seemed taken aback by the friend’s humor and asked him “Is your wife scared of you?” Our friend was quiet and understood what my partner was trying to imply.
In a relationship, it’s not about being scared or scaring your partner. It is all about caring for each other’s feelings and ambitions. Our friend’s statement was a clear patriarch statement, signposting males as a superior. I really wonder what this friend thinks about his wife? Would his daughter really grow up as a confident and happy being? How his son is going to turn out as he grows up into a man?
Physical strength, loud pitch or being the prime earning member of the family does not give anyone the right to overpower the other.
Gone are the days when the muscle power used to dominate. Today, brainpower has triumphed which does not have to do anything with the gender. We should remember that whatever we do or talk, howsoever small, some innocent little minds are noticing us. We have to be extremely watchful to shape our society beautifully. Society with gender equality is a joyful society where everyone is wanted, loved, empathized and most importantly, significant!